Not Even Rest

"Boredom: the desire for desires." ~ Leo Tolstoy

no catastrophes to write of
not even love
or manic highs
or even lies

no schemes to weave together now
don't take a bow
a dream escapes
my thoughts reshape

to float freely with clouds so white
calmness so tight
around my chest
not even rest

Outcasts Plight

pariahs beat their drums tonight
with moonshine flight
lax gypsies sway
delights allay

as timbrels clatter, clink and clang
earth dances, hangs
all eyes ablaze
and fireflies laze

they dance and sing till morning light
the outcasts plight
sweet freedom holds
them in her folds

The Price is High

"I've overcome neglect and deprivation, abandonment and abuse." ~ Tatum O'Neal

When you've compromised your own values and judgments for the sake of keeping an attachment and when they've left you anyway, the anger is mixed with fear and then with shame. What makes it even worse is that in your rational brain you know your reaction is way over the top to what has actually occurred, but the pain and the fear latch onto something so deep, so buried in the core of you that you have so little control over it. You can't let it take you to that abyss you've spent a lifetime building fences around. If your not careful, if you stop resisting the pull, you will fall in and you could lose yourself completely.

Sell your finger and sell your toe,

the sweetheart spoke.

The price is high,

smiling good-bye.

Do I need this finger, this toe,

the question's told.

Anger, fear, shame,

are all to blame.

Missing a finger and a toe,

you're led below.

Clawing, bleeding,

life is reaching.