Vibrations

"Every stress leaves an indelible scar, and the organism pays for its survival after a stressful situation by becoming a little older." ~ Hans Selye

stress
s c a r e s
hush

Mud Puddles

"I had been found in a mud puddle at 4:30 in the morning." ~ Lance Loud

There are tears to be 

found in rainbows and beauty

in a mud puddle.

Stars

"How far away the stars seem, and how far is our first kiss, and ah, how old is my heart?" ~ William Butler Yeats

stars

shiver

loneliness

while together

lone

Fate

"All art is a revolt against man's fate." ~ Andre Malraux

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

pearls of wisdom crushed

crushed from the weight

weight of experience

experience of fate

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sep-uh-reyt Normal

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ~ e. e. cummings

...dimples, defects.
standardize sane?
forget mundane,
processed respects...

Sick Beds

"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." ~ David Grayson 

This entire week I have felt off. Monday was anxiety and confusion. Tuesday, anxiety, tears, growth, empathy, and by Wednesday, utter and entire physical and mental exhaustion. Thursday gave me the shakes and dizziness with Friday waking me up with the taste of bronchitis coming on. All this caused by lack of sleep with a touch of heartache.

......................

Saying good-bye

Stomach churning

Eyes burning

Asking myself why

...........................

Complicated

"Everything is complicated; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore." ~ Wallace Stevens

Life is so outrageously complicated. The infinite possibilities of human relationships due to love, scorn, courtrooms, trust, fear, taxes, lust, hate, vacations, truth, lies, hairstyles, help, guilt, waistlines, etc. is complicated. I love and hate this journey that I'm on; but it's my journey and I'll take it.

.....................................

Simplicity 

Outrageously infinite

Fearing, hating, lying

Scorn, guilt, peace, calm

Loving, trusting, helping

Smoothly continuous

Complication
.....................................

Privileges

"I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and driven." ~ Barbra Streisand

The feelings are raw and intense. They always have been. While wine connoisseurs are born with a heightened palate and musicians with astute hearing, neurotics are born with extrasensory emotional sensitivities that can leave us disabled if we neglect or disown this very real part of ourselves.

Embrace it. The good, bad and ugly of it. Embrace the privileges it gives us. Acknowledge the bad for what it is, a severe allergic reaction to our environment; and when the ugly rears its face, respect its power and get help. Call a hot-line. Join an on-line support group. See your doctor. Take a few days to rest and get well. If at all possible surround yourself with trusted loved ones and if this isn't possible, then try to get out to a coffee shop or a park.

I'm finally learning to love all my endearing quirks rather than trying to keep them locked away in a closet while my soul slowly starts losing it's life line and depression is the only friend that sticks around.

No. It's much easier, just being me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raw,

Intense,

Forever

Was and will be,

Fitful emotions.

Neglect cripples a soul,

Embrace blessed privileges.

Environ allergies realized,

Patience and time dispel sinister spasms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trust

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My ex-fiancée and I had a volatile relationship which my dreams usually reflect when he's in them. Last night was different. There was a distance between us in the dream, but also there was an unspoken commitment.

If the people in our dreams are actually a reflection of an aspect of ourselves, then I believe he might represent a side of me that is harsh, judgmental, and unforgiving. He usually leaves me for someone he's been having an affair with.

So, last night, in my dream, he came home when he was suppose to and we talked about our day. The conversation was strained, but there was an underlying trust.

Maybe I'm starting to trust myself a little. Nice.

...

Where was I to go?

To get away from the show

Of your ego.

 ... 

Magic

"I'm not a prophet or a stone-aged man, just a mortal with a potential of a superman. I'm living on." ~  David Bowie

So. I've come to the conclusion that these extreme moods and emotions are not a curse. They are a gift. A magic power. With any super-human power comes responsibility. I should take care of myself and learn to use my powers for good rather than self-sabotage.

Fervid sensitivity.

Is it such a curse?

Or a gift?  

Backbone

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be." ~ Clementine Paddleford


A little wind in the sails would be nice. Floating directionless is driving me crazy; making me stir in my own juices. The storms have been weathered; time to head for dry land. I've got things to do yet.

 ..........................................

boating.

floating.

noting.

emoting.

storms are weathered, boating, floating, wet.

things to do and noting, emoting, yet. 

..........................................................................