Wednesday, June 29, 2011


sticky sweet taffy thinning
as you tug at it
strings of my heart get higher
more likely to hit

notes that shatter precious glass
strands of it stick to
fingers and face now bleeding
from the want of you


the branches wind until they find sunshine
and entwine intricately, intimately,
infinitely, creating a private riot
in the quiet of the hooded woods

the stream snakes to break and awake
an ache in us thus creating
a rush to the wet shores, the water's floor
we adore sitting in it on rocks or by it on docks

the sun will dance per chance entrance
and enhance our stay today
this way we will climb down a hill
enjoy the still of the creek that we seek

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


fresh paint to taint a saint
don't faint when he woos you
to come here my dear
never fear for love is of

a sacred world with curled and swirled
meanings hurled to and fro which glow
so very bright with a fright
you might find luck and be struck

Monday, June 27, 2011

Minutes Loitered

time elapsed wave by wave
hours lost here
minutes loitered carelessly there
memories were to save
with a tear
the rules of time are never fair

something of us choked
to the death
yet wisps of us linger today
pictures with stains cloaked
a mere breath
to whisper our romance away

a broken bone to end
our wee song
a tangible reminder of
the fairy tale spent
sometimes wrong
yet with undeniable love

Friday, June 24, 2011


lava boils within
my thin veins
anger awakening my pulse
a lover's kiss akin
to pride slain
jilted lovers act on impulse

there was little life left
pale heartbeat
cold ashen skin before the pain
enraging me you're deft
hurt concrete
thankful for feeling life again

natural chemical
inner medicine for the soul
wonderful terrible
occasional loss of control

Monday, June 20, 2011

Chin a Trippin'

been impatient always
in too big a hurry
chin a trippin' on it
spin my wheels with worry

never appreciate
whenever time rides
clever serenity
sever me from that guide

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Fight To Stay

how thin and transparent reality seems
alone in the dark of night i am fragile
so easily i could follow the moon beams

but they scare me into staying for awhile
to fight for a life other people cherish
the only easy thing, this inverted smile

my entire world seems easy to perish
so weak is my hold on this silky life line
i hold on to escape what i fear hellish

my soul is not up for someone else to dine
i want to stay here, please give me a good sign

Friday, June 17, 2011


your shadow ripples in the pond
moonlight casts an ivory bond
flat and silky without a sound
you leave me charmingly spellbound; i'm just your pawn

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Take Sunshine

i'll have to take sunshine
in the place of rain
as my freckles strain
for a place on my face to align

i watch the sky for a sign
search for a little white stain
i'll have to take sunshine
in the place of rain

there is always something to pine
a complaint to feign
sympathy to gain
so, i'll just sit and sip my wine
i'll have to take sunshine

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Esteem Thyself

would oft scream
when confronted
with the want of loves dream
they refused to share my heart's bed
when frequently, affection wasn't fed
i would always put my esteem upon a shelf
leaving my soul an empty haunted shed
like this, life is wanting for dead
myself i must redeem
when confronted
i shan't scream

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Toil to Sleep

failure's a faithful companion
always there to justify doubt
perseverance's assassin
she will always give you an out
tears will awake her compassion
all you must do is sit and pout
winning's never a guarantee
but toil will always let you sleep

Monday, June 13, 2011


where does the wishing get you?
stuck between two rocks
when do dreams come true?

only when you introduce something new
break away the safety locks
where does the wishing get you?

when am i allowed my due?
tired of following the flocks
when do dreams come true?

treasures i have but few
all i hear are the ticking of clocks
where does the wishing get you?

i'm just waiting on a clue
tired of building with blocks
when do dreams come true?

when will he come to woo?
and knock me off my socks?
where does the wishing get you?
when do dreams come true?

Freedom Being Relative

time walks with the snails
sound is a ghost in here
a hum or rattle or click
yet comes to life outside
singing with the birds
rustling with the leaves

walls imprison the spirit
that longs to hang on the eaves

there's a tap, clip, tap
while searching for time's
quicker companion
in a box where sound
is resurrected through
digital streams of infinity

the rabbit runs too quick
to ever find divinity

while stuck inside a box
i search a box of magic
for a life that lives
outside in a sphere
of gases and minerals
i feel i might be falling

down the rabbit hole
into a life to my life's stalling

to run away into the wild
live with the animals
sing with the birds
to let time tap out its
very own rhythm
in the sphere of gases

freedom being relative
to all of humanity's masses

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Stars Are Unkind

the stars are unkind
life is emptiness
the stars are unkind

why this existance
filled with constant strife
life is emptiness

i want to trade life
for a beauty not
filled with constant strife

a soothing calm sought
by my soul right now
for a beauty not

filled with hurt anyhow
yet life's beauty is felt
by my soul right now

strife, emptiness melt
the stars are unkind
yet life's beauty is felt
the stars are unkind

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Being Treasures

thoughts of you slip in from time to time
presenting themselves proudly
being treasures and bringing pleasures
they whisper, never speaking loudly

memories warm my frigid body
reigniting the embers
bringing pleasures and being treasures
body tingles as it remembers

our passions shared with loving respect
in the beginning we both
being treasures and bringing pleasures
an affair made of and crushed from growth

Friday, June 10, 2011


holds promise of
tactile attachments pure
heart bestowed inadvertently
whilst exchanging cerebral pleasantries
enchanted simplistic evening
interlaced blossoming
friendships transcend

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Story Shivers

story shivers alone falling
machine studies recent bent
love surprise other hope gazing
story shivers alone falling
morning rises of splendid sting
metal being eyes more absent
story shivers alone falling
machine studies recent bent

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Gonna Work Anyhow

just want a reflection from you
of a me that doesn't vanish on cue
frighteningly transparent me
relying on you to see

a shadow behind me won't do
i need to see the colors, the hue
in your eyes, in your smile
to feel that this is worthwhile

so look at me now
we're gonna to work anyhow
take a look here and see
your reflection in me

whispers get lost in the breeze
they're only meant to tease
scream so i can hear your voice
tell me i've made the right choice

so look at me now
we're gonna to work anyhow
take a look here and see
your reflection in me


a vexatious mood
carved from my own flesh
creates symphonic
melodramas from
nerves taut with fevers
from exotic rum
drank from life's chalice
continuous strum

a puppet with strings
tempers orchestrate
dances hedonic
as my body swings
like a pendulum
iridescent pings
left wanting a hum
in place of the drum

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Fiction, Page 2

He bought me a drink the next time I ran across him, and I thanked him rather shyly. I was in love with him, no longer caring or even believing that he had ever followed me. A fairy tale in the making, I took him home.

I awoke the next morning to find him beside me in my bed. His brown hair disheveled, his eyes barely open, he smiled. "Good morning beautiful." I just lay there looking at him. I couldn't remember a thing about the night before after we got to my apartment and I was terrified, and dizzy. I returned his smile to stave off any awkward conversation between us, not really knowing if my voice would come out steady.

I rolled over and snuggled up to him while pretending to go back to sleep, hoping that the dizziness would subside. I counted the drinks in my head from the night before: three. Only three drinks, this was not a hangover. Last night was not a blackout, but yet it was.

There was no doubt in my mind that we had made love. My brain may have lost the memory of it, but my body had not. I was scared that something was terribly wrong with me. Never once did I believe that he had anything to do with my memory lapse.

In the following weeks, he called on me often, taking me to dinner, to the movies, even silly shopping sprees. When we weren't together, we were texting each other the mundane details of our days. When we weren't in public together, we were exploring each other in the bedroom. He seemed to worship my body and in return my body ached for his. I all but forgot about the black out episodes, life was good.

One month into the affair, he came clean about being married. He had picked me up that evening with a dozen roses in  hand. He took me to my favorite Indian restaurant to celebrate our one month anniversary. It wasn't until I was snuggled safely in his arms that night that he told me what I thought was the truth about his other life.

Thoughts Cling

thoughts spin shimmering webs that cling
in the corners of muddled minds
they feed idea's other wing
survival of the fittest kinds

in the corners of muddled minds
carcasses of a gentler time
survival of the fittest kinds
flit about a nursery rhyme

carcasses of a gentler time
when colors twirled nimbly around
flit about a nursery rhyme
when survival trumps life's rebound

when colors twirled nimbly around
they feed ideas other wing
when survival trumps life's rebound
thoughts spin shimmering webs that cling

Monday, June 6, 2011


He was lying on a grassy hill in the park, gazing into the sky that first day I saw him. I drempt of lying by his side, looking for the magic that captivated him; wanting achingly to see what he saw. Wanting it to take me away, I fell in love.

A few days later, at a local bar, I all but ran him over. Though he was the one to apologize, asking if I was all right. "Of course. I'm fine," I squeaked as a thought crossed my mind that he was following me, leaving pebbles of doubt behind, but not, in itself fully forming. "Did I think it was love at first sight that day?" I asked myself, shaking my head with an emphatic "No, couldn't be." 

Weeks passed before I saw him again. I was at a local record store one Saturday afternoon, lazily thumbing through the faded jackets.  "Don't I know you from somewhere?" I heard someone ask, and when no reply came in answer, I looked up to find him staring inquisitively at me. 

Here was this man, this man that I had loved. This man who had followed me. Here he was now, acting as if we were strangers. "No, I don't believe you do," I stated, immediately followed with my exit.

I went home and put on an old jazz record, opened the windows to the cool fall air, and started jotting down love poems. His image, his voice, clung to me. I could no more rid myself of him than I could rid myself of my skin. I began to think that we had actually lain together on that grassy hill in the park. That magic had found and followed us. 

This is when the headaches started. My head began to throb, but I dutifully ignored it, knowing it would go away soon enough. When the phone rang, in what seemed like the space of a few seconds from the onset of the headache, I noted with relief that the headache had disappeared.

"You ready? I'm on my way over."  It was Alex, an old friend that I was going out to dinner with that evening.

Glancing at the clock, which registered nearly two hours past the time I felt it should have been, I answered, "Sure. Give me 20 minutes. Running a little late." A dizziness gripped me as I hung up the phone. It lasted for only a few seconds, but I was worried I might be coming down with a fever. Somehow, I had lost two hours.

I looked around me and all was as it should have been. I finally decided that the headache had knocked me unconscious. It was the only explanation that could fit into my view of reality. Still, it was worrisome. People just don't pass out from headaches. Not that I had ever heard of.

Deciding the best course of action was to go on about my evening as planned, I changed clothes and freshened up while I waited for Alex.


c h o k e s

Choose Happiness

given the choice,
choose happiness
over travesty,

a little
of both
lies in

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Into a Squall

"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend." ~ Plautus

lighthearted you, with magic rains
choose life energy around pains
at times, lucky, with friends terrains
your laugh champagnes, your laugh champagnes

feel all laughter's exhalation
imagine good time's sparkle fun
spontaneous times adjust, stun
journeys outrun, journeys outrun

lighthearted, fun-loving air dust
many times played with magic trust
playful mind chooses to the rush
therefore combust, therefore combust

this feels of happy gifted times
places exhaled, imagined rhymes
remember the energy climbs
to the sublime, to the sublime

inside, as friends imagine all
playful and you, happy to fall
into a life that sings to crawl
into a squall, into a squall

Saturday, June 4, 2011


"What difference is there between us, save a restless dream that follows my soul but fears to come near you?" ~ Khalil Gibran

energy emanates from me
longings squirm inside my body
fever of the soul to burn clean
a fine mind that's disconnected

Friday, June 3, 2011

His Granddaddy's Shotgun

Ordinary enough, that night. It started out that way, anyhow. In fact, the details of the evening escape me up until the moment I walked into our bedroom to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, a shotgun sitting upright on the floor, right in front him, resting there like a third leg. The barrel of it pointing straight up.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him, tears already streaming down my face. We had been arguing that night about money, like we always did. He had been out of work for weeks and spent his days kayaking rather than job searching. The argument was typical. The circumstances were not new. The gun being introduced into the scene, now that was new. 

"I don't deserve to live. I can't find a job. Isn't that what you're telling me? If I can't work, I can't live?" 

"I'm not doing this," is all I could say as I left him like that, grabbing my purse and heading out the door.

I checked into the hotel down the street from our house. Once in the room, I lit up a cigarette and called 911. They took him in with no problems. Confiscated his granddaddy's shotgun, and put him in the local mental hospital for three days. That was the worst it ever got, and I didn't leave him right away, even though I should have. It's been a couple of years since we've spoken, but as far as know, he's doing just fine.

Awaiting Rain

"In Texas, it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky." ~ Piper Perabo

dirt whips itself into fuss
while the sun beats down
tree branches hang low, leaves whither
dogs pant as their keepers frown

at the empty blue sky
on the hot rocks, snakes slither
dogs pant as their keepers frown
tree branches hang low, leaves whither

weeds thrive despite the heat
survival of the fittest, they wear the crown
tree branches hang low, leaves whither
dogs pant as their keepers frown

Thursday, June 2, 2011

My Rock

Snow crunched under my boots as I walked into a small gathering of pine trees that morning. Not having been there before, I wasn't sure where I was headed, but soon enough found a clearing at the edge of the hill I walked upon. Finding a rock to sit on, I looked out over the pine covered hills, letting the view coax me into a reverie of thought. It didn't take long for the tears to fall. They had been quietly waiting for the right time to break free, and they cascaded rather somberly down my cheeks.

I was only fifteen at the time and attending a church sponsored ski trip. My mother and I had argued about my going. When she gave in to my selfish, teen-age reasoning, she said, "Go. Go ski for me. I've always wanted to do that." So I had done it. Not for her, but for me. There I was in the mountains, enjoying a vacation with friends and up until that moment, that moment on the rock, I had refused to think of her. She had been diagnosed with terminal cancer a few months earlier. The doctors didn't think she had much time left and they were right. I lost her two months after that ski trip. The rock of my life.

Drunken Sailor

"In art and dream, may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth." ~ Patti Smith

despair in every ribbon of hope; i'm on the edge
a picturesque scene of serenity is just a sketch
life can't be either/or; it lies
somewhere in between lows and highs
it does seem my feet have no grip
in which to balance on life's ship
is it funny how i always choose to walk the tightrope
knowing the fall is despair in every ribbon of hope

tumultuously staggering about this life of mine
a drunken sailor knowing it always works out just fine
a heavy heart is mine to bear
and others will have their fair share
of diseases and tears i know
wish we didn't need pain to grow
i refuse to believe that i must always swim in doubt
drunken sailor, tumultuously staggering about

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Such as Fate

"Actions are the seed of fate, deeds grow into destiny." ~ Harry S. Truman

to dream of love with you is fine
to while away the time, divine
to look forward to our next date
to tempt a master such as fate

to run from my life into yours
to want a box chalked full of cures
to work myself up in a state
to tempt a master such as fate

can't run away from me no more
can't shut my dreams behind a door
can't avoid myself with a mate
can't tempt a master such as fate

to dream of love with you is fine
can't tempt a master such as fate

Maybe Bliss

"Now a soft kiss - Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss." ~ John Keats

so you're here,
a muse to use, keep near
to me sweetie, 'cause we're good for us,

for now, in the in between, that we won't discuss
forget the customs of propriety, the fuss 

friends, then lovers, let us stay like this
sharing time and a kiss
maybe bliss