Sensitivity

someone once gave me a present

beautifully wrapped with ribbons

inside, sparkly confetti, tissue

t’was extravagant and tempting

and as i unwrapped this present

my breath escaped in awe of it

and the most delicate lace crushed

and tragedy was born with a fit

such fervid sensitivity

a curse for some, a gift too

when high, the lows seem alien

the winds blow and sadness will sigh

when manic dreams die, dejected

memories build foundations to climb

beautiful aspirations will

shine rays into the gray of time

step through the looking glass again

let the wind jostle you forward

sweet rest is a memory now

take a stretch, step it up and act

control your happy and grow hopeful

where do you go with your new strength

get away from the others’ show

of ego, learn your song in length

you forever are and will be

fitful emotions of neglect

embrace a crippled soul that’s blessed

in a privileged environment

some patience realized will save you

and time dispels the sinister

dance happy and joyful spasms

ignore the inner minister

Freedom Being Relative

time walks with the snails
sound is a ghost in here
a hum or rattle or click
yet comes to life outside
singing with the birds
rustling with the leaves

walls imprison the spirit
that longs to hang on the eaves

there's a tap, clip, tap
while searching for time's
quicker companion
in a box where sound
is resurrected through
digital streams of infinity

the rabbit runs too quick
to ever find divinity

while stuck inside a box
i search a box of magic
for a life that lives
outside in a sphere
of gases and minerals
i feel i might be falling

down the rabbit hole
into a life to my life's stalling

to run away into the wild
live with the animals
sing with the birds
to let time tap out its
very own rhythm
in the sphere of gases

freedom being relative
to all of humanity's masses

Taunts

with a dismissal, i crumble
the repeated pattern of it
setting myself up for it
for rejection after rejection
unceasingly picking at a wound
open, moving, falling under

letting it absorb me into its depths
and i sit here and wonder

how i can continually hurt myself
over and over and over
never stopping, never letting up
waiting for the ultimate elimination.
that severing of a friendship
and knowing that i deserve it

because i set myself up
reaching out in a momentary fit

the itch was too strong,
the depression too deep
the habit too ingrained in me
at this point in my life
and for once i prefer the silence
to an answer because i don't want

a bad answer, the wrong answer
to my game, my constant taunt

a game that i keep losing
i can't sit with these bad feelings.
i can't sit with good ones either.
i'm hyper-vigilant trying to
calm down, cheer up, chill out
anything other than what i'm feeling

never allowed to just sit and encounter
never allowed to give into any healing